Tug - of - war

Blimey, time has flown since I last wrote! I actually hadn't realised how long it had been until I spoke to Mum and she chastised me for keeping my 'adoring fans' (her words, not mine) waiting, so for them (ie, Mum and Jess) I have made my way back to the internet room for what promises to be a pretty extended stay whilst I try to get across what I've been doing with myself for the last week or so!


In the time since I wrote I have visited not one, not two, but three of the Bustee Welfare projects; it's been pretty hectic! All of last week, and some afternoons this week I was at Monohar Pukur school, which is the school for kids aged 3-7, and I am going to be back at that school almost full time for my last week here..well that's if I get my way, more on that later. Incidentally, how mad is that?! I'm nearly in to my last week in Kolkata already, feels like just yesterday that I arrived here fresh-faced and petrified, although to be fair now I am somewhat less petrified and most definitely less fresh-faced! 


So, Monohar Pukur (or MP from now on): I had a bit of a rocky start at this project and came home from my first day feeling massively overwhelmed and not at all sure that I wanted to go back for my second day! Basically, I got there and they were sitting reading my CV, and, thanks to my ability to use the English language to make myself sound good, they were under the impression that I was some sort of angel from the West who could make all their problems go away, teach an entire school (plus teachers) perfect English pronunciation, as well as teach a huge range of songs to the kids, and synthesiser to the teachers...all in a week. To be fair to me, all the stuff on my CV is true, it just sounds a lot more impressive than I am in reality! When I pointed out that it was somewhat unrealistic to expect the school to be able to learn so much from me in such a short time, their solution was that I should just stay there...as if that was the most logical thing in the world! I tried (desperately) to get across to them that I couldn't do that, I had a schedule and other commitments (plus a flippin' plane ticket) that meant my time there was limited but they were having none of it and insisted that if I cared at all about their pupils then I would have to stay, and to do otherwise would be immoral (I'm paraphrasing but the essence is there). At this point, my hands were tied and I could see that they had, very cleverly, backed me in to a corner, where all I could do was repeatedly tell them that I would have to ask someone in authority what they thought and let them know, and assure them that I would do all in my power to be there as much as I could, without letting down anybody else.  The worse thing was that they did the whole thing with the most lovely of attitudes; the entire process of what was essentially brow-beating me (and yes, I know I'm being melodramatic, but I'm in Kolkata, there's nothing you can do about it) was done with such sweetness - they didn't say, 'you have to stay, there is no choice', they said 'if you loved us like we love you, you wouldn't be able to leave'. 


Needless to say, it was all a tad overwhelming. I left that afternoon and went back to Lovelock and by the time I got there was in a bit of a tizz really, and rushed in to Nandita babbling about 'limited time' and 'have to see all the projects' and 'letting people down' and not really making much sense. Luckily she could see my panicked state and made me sit and drink a cup of tea (turns out it's not only the British who believe tea is the cure for all the world's woes!) and said she would ring Arbita (the head teacher at MP) for me. She was wonderful. She just made it very clear that I had to see all the projects and that my time could not be limited to one place and Arbita was very understanding. They compromised that I would go to MP every afternoon regardless of which other project I was at, and that seemed to make everyone (including me) happy. The rest of my week at the school was fab. Like I said, they are really keen for me to teach music, so my lessons are either half grammar/half music or sometimes (in the afternoons) just all music! It's really good fun teaching them songs and nursery rhymes, and they absolutely love doing actions so I can have a laugh with them. Also, it actually really improves their pronunciation because I drill all the words with them before teaching them the tune and then they are happy to sing the songs over and over and so get a lot of practice. In fact they are more than happy, every time I've gone in to a class the last few days they have all stood up and, after the obligatory 'Good afternoon miss/how are you/nice to meet you' routine, started yelling song titles at me to indicate which one they want to do first! It's great because I feel, actually, I know, that they are enjoying my lessons and enjoy having me; it's a good feeling :) They pick things up really quickly as well, and in my time there I taught them approximately 15 songs! Over the last few days I have also been teaching some of the teachers in the afternoons. They want to learn how to sing, but also how to play a few songs, so at the moment I am teaching them Amazing Grace, All Things Bright and Beautiful and Santa Claus is Coming to Town. I'm aware that this last one seems a strange choice, but they want the kids to start learning in time for Christmas! It's tough because they all have very high expectations and want to be able to sing them exactly like I do, which just isn't going to happen. The sounds in their language are just nothing like English sounds, so I am literally having to break every word in to syllables and trying to show them how to move their mouth to get the same sound as I'm making...a long process! I keep trying to explain that if I was learning a Bengali song I would find it just as hard, but then the 'racism' kicks in and it's all..'no no, you are so wonderful, your voice is so sweet, it's too sweet, you can do anything' etc etc, an attitude that is surprisingly difficult to counter! I am really enjoying it though, and teaching the teachers (try saying that quickly 5 times in a row when you're drunk) means that I am building up a good relationship with them; it's good! 


This week I have spent my mornings at two different places - the Mother and Child project and the Vocational Training centre - and my afternoons at MP. Mother and Child was adorable. The days I was there were in the middle of two pujas (basically prayer festivals) and so there were only about 9 mothers with their children, but it was still lovely. Basically, the whole point of the project is  to foster a good relationship between the mothers and children and to get them all used to the concept of learning and discipline. One of the biggest problems at schools like MP and Lovelock is that the parents of the children are illiterate, but even more than that, it's that they don't give their children any help or support at home with their school work. This means that all the work the teachers do in school falls apart unless the pupil is particularly bright and can retain information easily. I mean, this problem is prevalent in British schools as well, it's not just here, but these kids are at even more of a disadvantage because of their background. So, Mother and Child gets the mothers used to being involved in their children's learning; they learn songs and rhymes together, do drawing and colouring in together, play together...all things that lots of mothers would do and take for granted, but which become a million times more difficult when you live in a slum. The project also focuses on behaviour and there are pretty high standards expected of the children, which is intended to get them ready for school education. I found this aspect of the project a little difficult. After all, the kids are between 2 and a half and 3, so it's hard for them to behave all morning! I can see why they do it though because, as my experience here has shown, the schools just don't put up with bad behaviour or disrespect, so in a way they would be setting the little ones up to fail if they didn't get them ready for that. While I was there I taught a few songs/rhymes and played with the kids, but seeing as the whole point is the interaction between mother and child I didn't want to get in the way too much! For that reason I am glad I only had three mornings there. Really, the kids are too young to learn English very successfully, and so although it was lovely to see it (and it really was, they are so adorable!) I know that my time is better spent at the slightly older schools. 


This morning then, I went to the Vocational Training Centre. Here I was just shown around and saw some of the different subjects they teach (like cooking/embroidery/tailoring/electrical wiring/hair and beauty) and the different things they have made (like crocheted purses/tablecloths/clothes). It was a lovely centre with a really positive atmosphere, and talking to the lady who runs it made me realise how valuable it is. She was telling me all about things that the girls who have learnt there have gone on to do, and several are now successful tailors with regular thriving business and are managing to support themselves. It's amazing, especially considering the fact that in Indian culture many much more privileged women will never support themselves, but will go from their father to their husband's house, although obviously that's a lot less common now. Again, there wasn't much I could actually do there, so I wouldn't want to have been there any longer, but I am really glad I went to see it, if nothing else just to see the practical side to Bustee Welfare Centre. 


So yes, everything is going really well on the volunteering front and I have settled in to a good rhythm. Or at least I had, until today! I had to go to Lovelock to get directions to the VT centre and when I told them there that I would be at MP all next week (as we had agreed) there was uproar. Again with the 'oh you can't love us like we love you' and 'it's so unjust that you would leave us so easily' (and here I am quoting, not paraphrasing!), and trying to make me promise that I'll go back there for some of next week. I was at MP for the afternoon and mentioned this, and Arbita was clearly not going to miss out on a chance to fight for me, so in the end I just threw my hands up and told her that she can speak to Nandita and they can just sort it out between them. In a way it's really flattering; it can't be bad that they all want me to spend as much time with them as possible, but it's also exhausting having to make them all feel equally loved - it's like I'm in the middle of a tug-of-war competition! I'm going to try not to let it bother me though and will just see what happens next week! In all honesty I would rather be at MP; I've developed some good relationships there and enjoy being with the kids a lot, but there's no way I'm about to come out and tell Nandita that...she's a bit scary! 


Aside from volunteering, I am happy to say that I have been ridiculously busy. Last night was the first night in almost a week that I wasn't out late, and it wasn't because I wasn't invited, but because I honestly couldn't keep going anymore! And actually, I did go out in the evening, just got back before bedtime for once! I've been spending lots of time with the people I went out with that first Friday...either just hanging out in one of their (very VERY nice) houses, or going out dancing, or just having food somewhere...just general stuff really. I'm loving it though as for one thing they are really lovely people and I enjoy their company, and for another it shows me a completely different side to Kolkata than what I would see just from volunteering. I'll make no bones about it, these people are pretty darn wealthy, and so I think I am getting a good balance between the poor Kolkata of the slums that everyone knows about thanks to Mother Teresa and the other Kolkata of the coffee bars and actual bars and clubs and nice houses etc. It's great because it means I am happy in the day time at my projects and also happy at night time with my new friends..so all in all I'm happy all the time! Well, nearly, the only time I'm not happy is for about 5 minutes after my alarm goes off in the morning. However, today is Friday, and I have the weekend off, so I think it's happiness all the way! Apart from that group of people, I also spend some time with other volunteers from different projects, and get invited quite a lot to things by adults here. Can't remember if I said about the jazz night at Tollygunge club, but that was great, and I also went to my first ever real fashion show last saturday, which was amazing. The lady who invited me knew the organiser so I was in the front row...felt like a celebrity (albeit a celebrity not looking their best)! Yesterday I had a phone call inviting me out for dinner tonight and I had to decline, as I already had plans, and a man from Lovelock wants me to meet his daughter so I think that's happening on Sunday. After a year of being at home where most of my friends have lived at least four hours away, I have suddenly found myself in demand in flippin' Kolkata...it's hilarious! My hostess clearly also finds it entertaining and every time I say I might be back late and not to wait up she cracks little jokes like, 'how late?' and when I say,'oh not too late' she says, 'so at about 6 then?'! It's good though, because I know she doesn't mind and actually is happy that I am out enjoying myself and her city; I'm feeling very lucky that I got her as my homestay! 


Ok, I feel that I have now done my duty and updated this pretty comprehensively, so I can rest easy tonight. Although, saying that, I have been resting very easy; I'm exhausted by the time I get to bed! I'll be glad to be travelling across the rest of India for a break! Hope everything is brilliant with all of you, keep sending me emails and messages to let me know what is happening in your lives...just a wall post saying that you're alive and happy will do! It's just nice to hear when I get to the internet :)


Lots and lots of love and well wishes,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The 'Indian princess' and the slums

Can't believe I'm half-way through week two of my month in Kolkata already! Time is flying by and it feels like so much has happened since I last wrote on here, even though it wasn't even a week ago. It's certainly all go here, for which I am so glad as it is helping me not to miss everybody to crippling extremes, although I have had my moments!


I'll start where I left off last time, 'Founder's Day.' This was even madder than I anticipated; they all took it so seriously and expected so much of the children! Before I could get involved however, I had to have my saree fitted - my very own costume fitting, just like all the kids were doing. It wasn't actually as complicated as I thought to put on, although I would never have dreamt of doing that way! I found it quite easy to wear actually. It was relatively cool and didn't massively constrict my movements; the only real issue was that, as anticipated, it led to even more attention than I was getting before! You would honestly think I was some famous model, the way everyone kept going on, and it led to a few somewhat sweeping (dare I say, 'racist') comments...such as 'Oh my God, they are so beautiful!', when asked to clarify 'they', the lady in question said, 'your people' and pointed to my skin! Wasn't quite sure how to respond to that one, so just smiled sweetly and looked demure, a technique that I find myself employing quite regularly over here. All jokes aside though, the saree is a beautiful garment, and it did make me feel very elegant wearing it. The one Nandita chose for me was black with gold detailing; I felt like an Indian princess! I had quite a few pictures taken, so once I get hold of them I will do my utmost to upload them (and some others) on to here so you can all see what I've been up to. 


The programme of the day went well, although there was utter pandemonium back stage (where I was) throughout. None of the kids, nor some of the teachers, seemed to grasp the meaning of quiet and no one really knew where they or anyone else was supposed to me, resulting in lots of children running from one area to another trying desperately to find their group. There was not only Lovelock School there, but also the younger school and Mother and Child project, so there were a lot of people around! Considering all this, the actual show seemed to go really well. No one forgot what they were supposed to be doing, and it was all well received. Hansel and Gretel, which was the play I was involved in, went amazingly! Everybody in the audience laughed in all the right places and the kids rose to the occasion and acted their little socks off - I felt very proud :) Apart from Hansel and Gretel, (of course) I think my favourite performance was the 'English' dance from the little-uns' school. They came on dressed as maids and butlers with pinnies and caps, and danced around singing about country fairs and good manners, before moving on to the chorus of 'shake your booty', which no one seemed to understand the meaning of, or why I was finding it so hilarious! 


When I got home that afternoon I had a phone call from my hostess's grandnephew, Ray, inviting me out with him and his friends to a club on Park Street, which is kind of like the high street here. I happily agreed, looking forward to the prospect of spending some time with people my age, and, most of all, going for a bit of a dance! Slightly panic-making, though, was the fact that I didn't exactly anticipate going out in Kolkata with local people, who have their entire wardrobe at their disposal, to a pretty posh club and so was at a loss about what to wear. I decided not to panic though, as I had the whole of Saturday to think about it. Or so I thought. At about 9pm, there I am, in my pjs, talking to Mum, ready for bed, and Minu comes over with her mobile in hand, saying that it's Ray. I hang up on Mum and speak to Ray, expecting him to confirm some detail or another, but no, he is ringing to tell me that he and his friends are downstairs waiting for me all ready to go! Well as you can imagine, I was horrified! I was no where near ready to go, had no idea what to wear, and they were all waiting for me! What followed was the fastest turn around in my small history, as within five minutes I was running down the stairs, shoving my hair up as I went, yelling goodbye to Minu and telling her not to wait up! 


Despite this not exactly fortuitous of beginnings, the night turned out to be a really good one. Ray and his friends are really fun, and his sister had a Uni friend over from Ireland, which was cool. We went to another friend's house for pre-lash before heading to the club. It was nice, really nice actually, and the music was fab! - Just like I had been dancing with Jess and Livi to on our last night out in Eddie's (apologies to those of you to whom that means nothing!) with a couple of bhangra numbers thrown in for good measure, at which point everyone grabbed my arms, pushed them into the air and started showing me some Bollywood-style moves - amazing! Just felt really good to be out enjoying myself with other people who were enjoying themselves, and not to have to be too respectable; I actually showed my shoulders! Got back to Minu's at about 3am, and knocked for the security guard to let me in, but I think her must have been asleep as there was no reply. I was slightly at a loss about what to do, but decided just to climb over the gate. Perfect end to the night as it meant I was giggling all the way up the stairs, and continued giggling the next day when a very bemused security guard was trying to work out how I had got in! 


Saturday I had a full-on sight-seeing day. I went on the metro up to the centre of the city to visit the Victoria Memorial, Park Street (by day) the Academy of Fine Arts and St. Paul's Cathedral. The Victoria Memorial was beautiful, and so unexpected. I walked from the metro station and had gone past slums, people peeing in the streets, unbelievably smelly piles of rubbish and lots of other unsavoury things, but I went round a corner, and there it was: bright white marble, rising out of a beautifully green park, and reflected in a still and remarkably clean lake. Inside was a pretty exhaustive, yet very interesting, history of Kolkata, and it was good to get some background to the city, especially it's relationship with the British over the years. I wandered round the park that it is in for about an hour afterwards, and although it was beautiful, I'm not sure I would do it again, due to the sheer amount of attention I got. I must have had my photo taken 'surreptitiously' at least 20 times, I can't honestly believe that these people didn't know that I could a) see them pointing their phones at me and b) hear the flippin' camera noise! I also had several people come up to me to ask to have their picture with me, and one man who followed me for about 20 minutes. He was the most irritating. He wasn't threatening or anything, and he didn't try to speak to me, but he was certainly persistent, and evaded all of my best 'stop following me' moves! He left me alone eventually though. 


Saturday night I met Jessica, an American volunteer who has been here 2 and a 1/2 months already. She doesn't seem to like Kolkata much though and is counting down her days until she goes home, which is a shame. However, she did introduce me to an incredible shop called 'sunshine' in the backpacker district, where I saw at least 20 things I would have liked to buy in the first 5 minutes! I was very good though and resisted the temptation (that time anyway, I will definitely be going back!), and focused instead on chatting to Jessica about what she's been doing since she got here...not all that much by the sounds of it! 


Sunday, I headed back towards Park St to visit Park St cemetery (they say we all eventually turn in to our Mothers, but I seem to be fast-tracking in this instance!). The cemetery was amazing. Although it is on one of the busiest streets in Kolkata, as soon as I was inside it was so quiet, due, I think, to the massive trees all around it. The tombs are massive, and could quite easily belong to giants! The whole forty minutes I was in there I didn't see another soul, unless you count a street dog, and it was so eerie, but not in an altogether bad way. As geeky as this makes me sound, it felt like being in some sort of ancient burial ground from Lord of the Rings or something! Apart from anything else, it was really good to be on my own, some respite from the constant attention!


From there I went to Mother Teresa's house where she lived and worked from. It was interesting to see, but I struggled a bit with some of her attitudes, especially towards contraception and abortion; they just seem ridiculous when you are dealing with a city like Kolkata, where pretty much every problem is intensified by over-population. I felt pretty down after leaving. The real poverty here is confronting and overwhelming enough for me, without the need to go to an exhibition about it; as potentially selfish as it sounds, it was just all a bit too much. The area that the house is in didn't help - let's just say I can see why Mother Teresa chose to set up shop there. It's strange, because the area I am living in has plenty of people living on the streets, but somehow this area was worse. I think it was the fact that it felt devoid of community or camaraderie, but I'm not sure really. 


Luckily, I had a wonderful phone chat with the fam (minus Jess who, as per usual, was being a social gad-about!) to cheer me up, which it did, immensely. And then the relatives of one of Gran's friends came round to take me out! First we went to their club, (which was definitely a new experience!) and then to a very traditional Bengali restaurant, where all the very delicious food was served on a banana leaf. It was a lovely evening. 


This week has been all change, as I am now working at another school that comes under the Bustee Welfare umbrella. There is a lot to tell about it but I am wilting a bit, and so am going to head down the street to buy a sweet or two; it is a completely accurate stereotype that Bengali people make fantastic sweets, and I plan to make the most of it while I am here! 


Lots of love,
xxxxxxxxxx

Bustee Welfare - the good, the bad and the adorable!

I'm back in this strange little room so I suppose that means it's time for another blog! From what I can remember I had outlined my journey/homestay for you and was just about to get on to my projects before I had to leave as dinner was calling (incidentally, dinner was delicious)!


I am working at the Bustee Welfare Centre on Lovelock Street in South Kolkata (just in case it is GoogleEarthable). This is a centre that was set up quite a long time ago, originally just to provide slum children with milk and food. However, the lady who started it soon decided that it was not enough merely to provide food, and set about making it a centre for education, in the hope that it would give people the ability to rise above their, to be blunt, horrendous start to life and to forge a better future for themselves and their family. Since then then Bustee Welfare Centre (BWC from now on..time is limited and any short-cuts appreciated!) has expanded and now has six sub-centres: The original BWC on Lovelock street which teaches children from classes 1-7 (ages 7-14); another similar school nearby; a Nursery Nchool to get littleuns used to the concept of going to school; a Mothers' Literacy Centre, which teaches mothers from the slums; a Vocational Learning Centre, which teaches skills like embroidery, cooking, hair and beauty, and electrical wiring; and a Mother and Child project, which focuses on play therapy (buzz word for you Spanna) to develop the skills of motherhood that many of these women are unaware of. All of these mini-projects are run as a charity, and the BWC relies upon donations, interestingly mostly from Germany where they have a large support base. After the children finish at  one of the schools, most go on to outside schools to finish their education. They are also supported in terms of both money and care for the rest of this time. The BWC has had lots of children go on to complete higher education and get jobs in really quite high-up places such as Government offices! Considering these children's background, this is remarkable, and just shows how important the work that the centre does is. 


That's enough for now on the official info about the project, I guess you would like to hear a bit more about my experiences there! Well...they have been wonderful so far! The children are absolutely adorable and so excited to have me there (more for the novelty of my skin colour than anything else I feel!). Every time I walk into the school each and every child says 'Good Morning Miss' or they call me Madam, or Aunty (an Indian term of respect and endearment) and then throughout the day I must be greeted by each child at least three times..which adds up! They all want to know how I am, where I'm from, what my name is etc, to the point that it sometimes gets challenging to get them to listen to what I am trying to teach rather than quizzing me on my background! I also get asked for my autograph with amusing frequency but I swiftly learned not to give it, as the moment I sign one piece of paper (literally writing my name) there are 20 books being shoved under my nose, with high pitched voices screaming 'me, me, Aunty, me, me!' They would also do anything for me; I made the mistake of putting my bag on the floor one day and there was outrage, with every child offering his or her desk for what they must have seen as my precious cargo to sit on! I was walking around the class earlier in the week and crouched down to look more closely at someone's work...well you would have thought I had started to kiss his feet the response it got! They were all out of their chairs, shouting 'here, here, Aunty, please sit here' and begging me to sit in their seats rather than crouch on the floor; it's amazing. 


On Monday (my first day) it was 'Teachers' Day.' This is a national day celebrated in India which commemorates the birthday of their second President (whose name I can't remember), who started life as a teacher. It is a day where, in essence, teachers are honoured. At BWC, this means that the kids are in charge for a day, putting together a programme for the teachers' entertainment, and giving gifts and honour to the teachers. All of this I was expecting as I had been told it was coming. What I was not expecting was the way I was treated, especially considering that at this point I had no taught a word! Until the programme started at 11.30, I was being shown around the school. Every child that saw me came up and touched my feet (a sign of respect), saying 'Happy Teachers' Day', quite a few also gave me pens, which is the traditional gift for the day. After the programme, which included songs, dances, poems, and even a stand-up comedian, presents were given out and I was given a beautiful pink rose...it was so moving. After this was all finished I went with Nandita and the Social Welfare Team of BWC to the Mothers' Literacy Project, where they had their celebrations. If possible, this was even more touching. With the children, I can see why they are so excited to see me; they have barely seen a white person before, let alone touched or spoken to one, and so they see me as exotic, new and a novelty. I was apprehensive about meeting the mothers though, as I expected them to see me less as an exciting novelty, than a privileged girl who symbolises all that they do not have. It turns out however, that I was the only one being so black and white about it. They were so welcoming and kind and friendly, and treated me like I was one of the staff; with respect and love. Their programme was much more subdued and shorter than the kids', and afterwards Nandita spoke (in Bengali) about the importance of teachers and their role in shaping the futures of children (and I suppose in this case, mothers). Then one of the women presented us with pudding. She (and all the other women there) work as maids in the mornings, and have to take time off work to be at the project. This woman's employer had helped her to make the pudding, and it was delicious! We also had presents from this project, I had more roses, a Bengali sweet (like a small chocolate cake), a figurine of a ballerina and a small model of a house that says 'with love' on it. 


It was really overwhelming. These women have lives that I cannot really imagine. Even after visiting a home in one of the slums with Kalkoli, one of the BWC social care team, I still can't get my head around the fact that that is all they have and all they have ever had, and quite possibly all they ever will have. Yet they come, three afternoons a week, missing out on pay, just so that they can learn. It's very humbling. It was wonderful to see as well, because they all seemed so happy. One of the social care team hit the nail on the head I think, saying that these women are so lacking in individuality in most of their lives: they are mothers in the slums and maids in their jobs, but at the project they get to be themselves.They are there only because they want to be, and if they decided to stop coming no one would make them return, but therein they get some sort of autonomy, which is sorely lacking in all other aspects of their lives. They are really inspiring, and when I got a chance to teach them English yesterday, I saw it even more in their patience with me, which shows me, more than anything else, that they really want to learn!


Since Monday the school has been a bit all over the place. Tomorrow is BWC's annual celebration for 'Founder's Day', where they commemorate the start of the school, and they are having a big show in a nearby auditorium with every sub-centre involved and a prize-giving. This means that lessons have been somewhat disrupted due to rehearsals and preparations taking place, and everyone generally being in a bit of a tizz and worried about it. I have been drafted in to help with the English drama, Hansel and Gretel. It's frustrating because as far as I am concerned the kids in it are doing unbelievably well - they have memorised the whole thing and it is completely understandable, no mean feat considering the fact that largely they do not understand what they are saying! However, they are being put under extreme pressure from their director and the BWC's director to make it sound as if they are English children doing it, which they will never be able to do! It's a shame because it means that they are not enjoying it as much as they could be, but hopefully once they have done it tomorrow everyone will be a bit more encouraging! I am looking forward to the celebrations though, as there will be a chance to see lots of dance and Bengali drama also. 


Despite the atmosphere of disruption, I have taught quite a few lessons now. It's difficult because I don't actually know until I get to school what lessons I will have, and even then I don't know if the teacher will expect me to simply watch and help or to take the lesson. Then there is the added difficulty of our differing styles. They are quite tough on the kids (some teachers more than others), so where I would be inclined to praise the children for what they got right, the teachers tend to criticise them for what they got wrong. This gets a tad frustrating. It's also hard because despite being excessively polite in some areas, as far as classroom discipline goes, they are somewhat rowdy! I'm not sure exactly how to deal with this. When the teacher leaves me on my own it is ok, as I can try my own methods, but when they stay they try to do the disciplining, but the kids just don't listen a lot of the time. From lessons I have observed, it seems a lot of the time a core group of pupils will be doing their own thing, but the teachers don't do anything about it until they are disturbing the rest of the class. It's a weird dynamic and it's taking some getting used to, but I'm sure I will muddle through! Saying all this (which when I read back over it sounds more negative than I'm feeling), some of the lessons I have done I've been really happy with. I taught the present and past continuous tenses yesterday and when I saw the class again today they remembered it really well. And I did adverbs on my own with class 3 today, who yesterday were very naughty for their actual teacher, and again they completely got it and were able to act out loads by the end of the lesson. I'm not saying every lesson has been great, but there is definitely a foundation there to build on! 


From next week my schedule will be changing and I will be doing a little bit at a mixture of the BWC projects. I'm looking forward to this, but just hope it doesn't mean my whole month here is too disjointed. Lots of people warned me that that is exactly what India is though, so if that's the case I will just have to go with it!


I am absolutely loving Kolkata as a city. The part that I am living in a very non-touristy which I am really enjoying, as wandering around here it is obvious that this is 'real' India, and not a postcard version thereof. That does mean that it's pretty overwhelming sometimes though! The streets, if you can call them that, are choc-a-bloc with people doing everything and anything from walking to work, to selling chai or food from stalls, to sitting chatting or playing cards, to washing clothes, to sleeping, to washing themselves, to haphazardly creating a bit more pavement, to praying to small Hindu shrines along the side of the road and a million other things beside. The smells, too, are difficult to ignore, and range from the pleasant smells of chai or street food to the less pleasant smells of sewers, traffic fumes and street dogs and every now and then it is cut through by something completely unexpected like the smell of soap! It's such an incredible experience just walking around, and I cannot wait to explore a bit more of the city once I have properly found my feet. I have visited the Kali temple (most holy place in Kolkata), but I'm out of time to tell you about it now, so that's my cliff-hanger! Hopefully by next time I write I will have lots of Kolkata sights to tell you all about. 


Have to get home to dinner and bed, as I told you it is a big day tomorrow - I have borrowed a saree from Nandita to wear as a sign that it is a special day, so goodness knows what the children's response will be to that! 


Lots and lots of love,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Namoshkar!

Right, so...here I am! I actually don't know where to start. It feels like so much has happened already and apart from the actual 'stuff' happening, I feel like I have lots of impressions, musings and, I guess, (as the title of this blog suggests) wonderings that I want to convey to anybody interested enough to actually be reading this! 


I suppose I will start at the very beginning of my trip...the flight. It was really sad saying goodbye to Livi and Dad at the airport, but thank goodness they came with me as I think it helped me to stay that much calmer for that much longer. Once they abandoned me at the security barrier (joke) I pretty much broke down and must have looked like a completely crazy person wandering through Heathrow on my own with a very blotchy face, randomly bursting into floods of tears...not the best of starts! It didn't help that there were people everywhere (I don't know really what else I would expect) and especially that they were all, as far as I could see anyway, in groups or pairings, and I seemed to be the only person insane enough to be doing this on my little biddy own. I needed some space, so I found my way to the prayer room, sat down on a blanket on my own and just focused on my breathing. It really helped that I had had so many supportive and positive messages from friends and family, as I could go through them in my mind and remember that there are lots of people thinking of me and sending me love (sorry if that sounds egotistical, it's not meant to!), and that although yes, I am undeniably on my own, in a less literal sense I have lots of people with me, which is helping a lot! 


My actual flight was pretty uneventful. My seat was next to a grandmother, daughter and granddaughter, and only the daughter had ever flown before. The little girl was fidgetting like mad and refused to even sit down, let alone put her seatbelt on, and had eaten all of her sweets meant for take-off before the seatbelt sign had even come on. Needless to say, I thought I was in for a rough flight. Luckily though, the plane was relatively empty, and so after take off I was able to move to a seat at the back of the plane where there was an extra half-seat spare so I could stretch out a little. I managed to stay awake long enough to eat my food and watch nearly all of the latest Pirates of the Caribbean film, but by midnight I was so exhausted that I missed the last fifteen minutes in favour of sleep (if anyone has seen it, feel free to let me know the outcome!). I slept pretty well, well enough that I missed breakfast, and before I knew it we were in Delhi!


Again, my six hours in Delhi weren't the most exciting of my life. When I first got into departures for my flight to Kolkata it didn't really feel like India at all. There were lots of things around that I associate with Britain, like a WHSmith and an Early Learning Centre, and a relatively diverse mix of people. However, as the day went on it started to feel more and more unknown. I got a lot of attention (still am getting actually), and one group of men sat near to me for a while, clearly discussing me in Hindi (or maybe Urdu - I wish I'd learnt the flippin' language!), before the bravest one came over and asked to have his picture taken with me, like I was some sort of celebrity! Fortunately, I had just read the 'women travelling alone' section of my Lonely Planet book, which stipulated that in this instance just to say 'no' pretty forcefully, which I did, and then felt somewhat guilty as he looked so sheepish and left almost immediately. I guess rather that than have this random Indian man presenting the picture to people with me as his girlfriend!


The flight to Kolkata was fine. I was the only white person, and one of the only women, so I definitely stood out, but it wasn't an issue. I watched a Bollywood film about a wedding company which was, in true Bollywood style, extremely colourful, vibrant and over-the-top, and exactly what I needed! Coming in to Kolkata I was really surprised at how dark it was - it was only 8pm but it was pitch black outside, and it actually turns out that it's pretty much dark here by 6.30...it's because it's closer to the equator I think, although I don't fully grasp the concept! My taxi journey to my homestay was mental. Truly insane. The roads here are crazy, with people weaving in and out of lanes like they don't even exist, veering off at junctions on the wrong side of the road with absolutely no indication that they are planning on doing so, cutting people up left, right and centre as if they always have right-of-way, talking on their mobiles, turning their engines off at every pause of 30 seconds or more, and the whole time (literally) beeping their horn as violently as they can manage! Whether this is in protest of what someone else has done, to warn other drivers of what they are planning, or just simply because they like the way it sounds I can't quite work out..but it certainly makes for exciting driving! To make matters infinitely more chaotic, I arrived just at the end of one of the most important football matches Kolkata has hosted in recent history. The roads were choc-a-bloc not only with taxis and cars, but with auto rickshaws, normal rickshaws, motorbikes, mopeds, bicycles, buses, lorries, and a lot of pedestrians thrown in for good measure. Every vehicle was full to bursting, and I couldn't quite get my head around the sheer number of people everywhere...pretty overwhelming. 


I finally got to my homestay though, and in one piece too, and it is lovely. My hostess, Minu, is 90 years old and quite a remarkable woman. She has travelled extensively, has family all over the world, has people calling throughout the day and is so gracious and elegant. She actually reminds me a lot of my Gran, which is really nice. I have my own room and bathroom, both of which are very comfortable, and I have my own meals cooked for me, as Minu likes to eat alone. It's a shame really, as I feel that if we ate together we would chat more, but I think she gets tired quite quickly (which is completely understandable at her age!), and talking to me seems to wear her out...I must try to speak more slowly! However, eating alone does mean I get to focus all my attention on the food, which is a bonus as it is delicious! Minu has two people who are her domestic help, and Goran, her cook, lives there all the time. He is an amazing cook and concocts the most wonderful, delicately flavoured vegetarian meals for me including lots of vegetable dishes and some mouth-watering fish, all balanced by the loveliest rice I've ever tasted (sorry Mum, Delia's rice is still a close second, and I'm sure Goran couldn't cook a roast like you!). I'm finding it very odd living in a house with what I can only really describe as servants, but I am just trying to accept that this is one way of Indian living, and that different cultural norms are exactly what I wanted to experience this year. It's even more strange though as I actually have my own help, in the form of a lovely lady who comes to do my washing and sort my room out. When Minu asked if I wanted help I was adamant that, no, I could very happily do my own washing, but she said that this lady really needs the money, and asked if I would please accept her. It feels weird, but I am just trying to leave things as neat and tidy as possible without offending anybody and I plan to tip very generously when I leave! 


Ok, so that touches on the journey and my homestay, so now I guess it's on to the project! Unfortunately I have rambled on for so long that I am almost out of time, and if I don't send a few emails as well I will have no loved ones left to bother returning to! For now I can sum up the project really easily: I. Love. It. And that's it! It's an amazing place, with amazing people (staff and kids), and I think it is going to be an AMAZING experience! I promise that I will write about it properly very soon. I have been trying to find an internet cafe for the last few days (there is no internet at my homestay), but despite being on a very busy street I just couldn't see one. In fact, I still haven't found one exactly, but rather am in a strange little room with 5 computers in a row and nothing else. I'm not complaining though, as it is about a 3 minute walk from my homestay, so now I've found it I can come here pretty easily. It's good actually, because as awful as it sounds, not being able to freely use my phone (I haven't sorted out an Indian sim yet, so it's still costing me a small fortune) and not being able to find an internet source was making me feel a little antsy, so it's nice to know that there is one nearby - not that I'm promising to write every day...I still want to experience Kolkata on the streets, and not from a small air-conditioned room (as nice as having air-conditioning is)!


I think I will leave it there for now; I'm sure there is enough here to keep even my most avid fan (Mum) entertained for a little while. Just know that I am very happy, really enjoying myself, and although I am missing lots of people very much, so far I have not been crippled by homesickness, which I can only say is a very good thing! Now I've done this, lots of you have to keep up your end of the deal by filling me in on your lives, so I will expect lots of facebook messages whenever I log on again, going through your lives in extensive detail! 


Lots and lots of love from a very hot, steamy, manic, chaotic, loud, smelly, colourful, completely overwhelming and absolutely flippin' incredible Kolkata! 
xxxxxxxxxxxx 

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen and GOODBYE!

Well here it is...departure day!


I fly at 10pm tonight and arrive into Delhi at 11.30am tomorrow (their time, which is four and a half hours ahead). Then it's a connecting flight to Kolkata at about 5pm, getting me there tomorrow evening. When I arrive I'm being met by somebody with one of those placards with my name on it (which in itself I find pretty exciting) who will take me to my homestay to meet the project coordinator in Kolkata and the lady that I'll be living with for a month. She sounds lovely and really interesting. She is an 80+ lady who has travelled the world, is mother to a famous Indian tennis player, mother-in-law to the ex High Commisioner in London, and who lives in central Southern Kolkata about a 15 minute walk from my project and who (possibly most importantly) is renowned for being an excellent cook! So hopefully I might be able to learn a little about Bengali cookery, which wouldn't be hard seeing as currently I know absolutely nothing!


I have finally had a bit more information about my project as well. I will be teaching at the Bustee Welfare Centre ('bustee' is a term for slums). The centre was set up in 1971 to provide milk to slum children, and has since grown to include three schools (one of which I will be working at). Their focus is on education as well as hygiene, health and nutrition and so every child that goes to the school gets not only a free education, but also free uniform, shoes, socks, rain coats, warm jumpers and text books as well as a midday meal and regular health checks and medical attention. I am so excited to meet the kids and get stuck in, which is lucky seeing as  my project coordinator has emailed me to say that the project actually runs on a Saturday as well, so I may be getting thrown into it a bit sooner than anticipated! I guess that might be quite good though as I will have less time to obsess about whether I can actually teach these kids anything (well, only an eight and a half hour flight anyway)!


The last few weeks have been absolutely lovely. The Lewis family have been all back together and we have had lots of fab occasions like Livi's 21st, celebrating Jess's amazing A level results and consequent acceptance into the Royal Veterinary College in London, and, of course, Greenbelt. Greenbelt was a much of a blessing this year as any other, but possibly came at an even better time than usual! Before the festival I had pretty much reached a state of panic; I was really struggling with the reality of actually going away from home for a year on my own, and was seriously questioning my sanity in deciding to do such a flippin' ridiculous thing! I am still in a minor state of panic, but at Greenbelt I remembered all the reasons I am doing this, and how much I have wanted it for such a long time, and how amazing it's going to be. I feel so lucky that I am going to have this opportunity and really privileged that I will get to meet a whole load of fantastic people all over the world. I'm just going to have to try my very best to remember that when I have Delhi-belly, or am host to a mosquito feast, or am missing everyone at home like a limb!


That has been the one bad thing about these last few weeks - the goodbyes. It has been really sad having to say that most horrible of words to people that I am, quite seriously, going to desperately miss. They have all, however, without exception, been so brilliant at reminding me that this year is not about sadness but opportunities and happiness, and that although I will be on the other side of the world, in this day and age especially, there is no need for me to be isolated from all the people I love. So I guess coming up is a bit of a plea...please don't forget me just because you aren't seeing me or hearing from me lots, and please please please keep in touch! I know I won't be able to be in contact with everybody all the time, but it would make me so happy if when I do get chance to get on to the internet I actually have some emails to respond to!


Anyway, I have a to-do list as long as my arm (again!) - who knew a round-the-world trip would take so much organising?! So I guess I had better go and actually do it. I don't have internet at my homestay, but will get to an internet cafe as soon as I am settled and let you all know how I'm getting on!


So all that remains is for me to say a very fond farewell...Wish me luck and have a fantastic year!
Lots of love,
Camilla xxx